Yairi

The guitar my husband purchased on ebay is wonderful. It's a small little guitar but boasts a sound that is complex and mature and very interesting(kind of like me!) . I really love it. The top string buzzes a little-a problem that will soon be fixed by my husband's guitar tech uncle-not that it matters as much to me now that I'm over my teenage power chord phase.

I really enjoying the guitar. It makes me re-live my life through all the dramatic minor chord heavy songs I wrote as a youngster. It also makes me want to write new songs about my life now. As I go through my repertoire of songs I am very aware of how mediocre they are, I know my voice does them no favors, and my simple guitar playing is probably the highlight, but they are precious to me the way old photographs of myself as a teenager with dark lipstick and a bright red bob are. I think I am going to try to swallow my pride one of these days and get my husband to help me record them and polish them enough so that I don't hyperventilate and start blushing so furiously I break out in a sweat every time I try to brave a listen. It really shouldn't be such a big deal to me. He's seen our son emerge from my body in a most unglamorous way. He's heard me butcher songs that other people wrote while I was high on alcohol. He's pretty much experienced the worst I have to offer in our young relationship, I'm just really in love with him and I have a hard time getting over myself. But if I could, a new dimension of communication would open up between us. I really want to share music with him. It's something we have in common, but the threads don't intersect. We keep to our own fabrics. Mostly by my reluctance to share. I guess I don't want him to laugh at me, but like I said earlier, we are way past that. We love each other and I know he won't run screaming if I play him a shitty song. He's a remarkable lead guitar player. Very intuitive, very connected when he plays. But I don't always appreciate him. I used to make my sister's ears bleed and I was never concerned about her opinion. I am going to make music with my husband. I may hide behind the Yairi for a while, but my stupid songs need to be preserved before I forget them and I need his help to make them suck less.